Being Human: ‘Hold the Front Page’ or Yvonne’s a demon in the bedroom (S4, ep.5)

After last week’s foray into Scooby Doo territory with Kirby, I was a little worried that we’d be getting more of the same. Fortunately the return of the 40-something, baby-faced vampire and his school mistress lover sparked a number of interesting developments and introduced Being Human fans to ‘Type 5’: the succubus.

Adam and his Mum, sorry, lover Yvonne.

What happened… 

This week’s opener sees us thrown back 6 months earlier to St Hilda’s School for Girls, where a bespectacled, teenage girl is wandering round the rather plush grounds apparently looking for someone. That someone just happens to be Adam (Craig Roberts), the ‘young’ vampire who we last saw walking away in series 3, hopefully to live a life of sobriety. Unfortunately things don’t seem to be going to plan and just as he’s about to sink his teeth into his young victim with the “spectacular jubblies”, he’s caught literally by the ear by one of the schoolmistresses: “Well hello!”

Meanwhile back at Honolulu HQ Hal is sporting a pair of Marigolds and getting stuck into washing up, whilst giving an excellent rendition of The Four Tops’ ‘Reach Out’, when there’s a knock at the door. Realising who it is Annie lets Adam in only to find he’s brought with him the new love of his life, Yvonne Bradshaw, the teacher who collared him about to fang the schoolgirl. The trouble is she ‘looks’ significantly older than him and the Press aren’t too, well, impressed. It has to be said though, there are a number of interesting things going on with Ms Bradshaw aside from her penchant for unhealthily pale, young looking men. First of all she can see Annie (supernatural alert!), secondly she often veers towards verbal admonishments that factor high on the S&M scale, and finally there appear to have been an inordinate number of men interested in her, including Brad Pitt who has a “nice trailer” and “surprisingly small hands”. In fact as soon as Tom shakes hands with her he too seems to be under her spell. Anyway back to the more imminent danger, the Press have followed Adam and Yvonne to Barry and want to take his picture. For obvious reasons this can’t happen, but the former teacher is unaware that her boy wonder is in fact a 47 year old of the vampiric persuasion, and so when they sit her down in the kitchen and explain who they all really are she’s convinced they are all suffering from some sort of delusion. Equally naive is her lover Adam, who thinks he can sneak out for a cigarette and not get caught by the tabloids, but of course one jobbing photographer sneaks a photo, leaving Annie and Tom to deal with the already suspicious journalist rather inexpertly.

Hal: Oh sh*t Annie! The cameraman appears to be drunk.

Back in ‘Spin City’ Cutler is suspiciously dragging a dead body into the woods and marking it with what JML would market as a ‘Multi-Slicer’, in order to make it look like yet another werewolf attack, as his anti-lupine PR war against the likes of Tom rages on. With Yvonne in the house, tensions between the men also take a sinister and violent turn as her charms appear to be catching, leaving both Tom and Hal having semi-erotic, semi-plain-disturbing dreams about her where she dresses as a barrister and Kate Bush(?!) respectively, and where she preys on their weaknesses in an attempt to seduce them. As a result they spend a lot of the episode arguing with Adam over his girlfriend, and it all culminates in a scene where Hal decides to make the moves on Yvonne by quoting Keats and promising to “destroy all those who get in my way. The streets will run with blood.” When Tom refuses to step aside a fight ensues during which ‘The Old One’ stakes his friend and makes Adam run away as fast as his little legs will carry him. Now the victor about to claim his prize, Yvonne whispers into his ear, “Kill the baby then bleed me dry. You have been unleashed.” What? Another death of a main character and another vampire falling off the wagon? Of course not! It was all yet another dream that spurs Hal on to believe that something’s not quite right with the newest lady at Honolulu Heights. No kidding! Consequently Annie confronts Yvonne who reveals to her that the two men who who were in her life previously both died when they were having sex with her, and that her mother always said she had a “beautiful and cruel” father. “A demon.” Yes indeedy ladies and gentleman, we have ourselves a succubus in the house! Realising she’s been kidding herself that he’s really in love with her, she asks Annie to take Adam out of the house to find out what he really feels about her. Leaving Tom and Hal locked in their rooms, they ‘swaddle’ their way to the café, unseen by the mob of Press still gathering outside the house, where he admits that whilst being with Yvonne stopped the bloodlust he was likely just under her spell and he wanders off into the night to think.

That pesky photographer has also been a busy bunny and approaches Cutler, who he’s found out defended Tom after the invisible vampire CCTV incident from last week. Airing his suspicions that vampires have been responsible for all sorts of things that went bump in the night, the solicitor/PR guru/vampire convinces him he shares his worries and that it would be a good idea if they pool evidence, so they organise a meeting later in his hotel room. When later comes the journalist shows Cutler all the evidence he has which he dismisses as circumstantial and just “pictures of empty rooms”. Explaining that when he was 12 his mother was murdered by her boyfriend and his vampire friends who “couldn’t stop laughing as they did it”, the journalist realises that Cutler had to be invited into the room and so a confrontation ensues. Armed with his mobile phone and a rudimentary cross he’s drawn on the door, and having rung the police and other journalists, the photographer seems to have the upper hand. However by the time Annie and Hal have made it to his room to ‘silence him’ so he doesn’t out Adam as a vampire, Cutler appears to have already done their dirty work for them.

Back at the ranch, after Annie told Yvonne that Adam needed to time to get his head together she marched outside to tell the reporters “I’m a monster and you all deserve my contempt and my wrath,” before embracing her inner demon and attempting to seduce/murder Tom in his room. Having seen her on the television in a pub he’d followed a possible victim into, Adam hurries back to the house just in time before the werewolf has the life sucked out of him (literally or metaphorically, I’m not quite sure how this Succubus thing works.)  Talking to her through the front door Adam explains to his girlfriend, “You’re not a monster. You’re just lonely”, and when she refuses to let him in he goes on to explain their both “trapped” by their conditions and that they should be “trapped together”, admitting he does love her even without the spell. The following morning, just after they’ve wended their merry way away in the car waved off by Hal and Annie, as Tom looks on from his bedroom window for his own safety, (Yvonne’s spell not being broken until she goes away and him not having the same self-control as Hal), Annie tells her vampire housemate that “Ever since I killed Kirby I wanted to do it again” finally realising how addictive murdering someone can be after years of living around essentially lethal weapons with a hair trigger. Hal on the other hand has finally come to the conclusion that he “really can control himself.” So it’s smiles all round, but probably not for long. In the final scene Cutler can be seen gleefully uploading footage of Tom transforming into a werewolf onto the internet. Oh dear!

The Verdict…

I have to say that ‘Hold the Front Page’ was light years better than last week’s offering. It really was a joy to see Craig Roberts’ Adam once again, who can readily mix pretty base humour with some hefty pathos even in the same scene. Yvonne (Selina Griffiths) was also a suitably quirky addition to Toby Whithouse’s supernatural family as a ‘Type 5’. After rumours that the new addition to the Being Human family roll call of freaks and monsters might be a robot, I’m really pleased they plumped for something altogether more traditional and that they managed to dovetail the plight of a half-demon rather well with that of the fresh faced vampire. Excellent once again was Damian Moloney, who as Hal is managing extremely well in filling Mitchell’s boots, but also setting him up as a different entity. My favourite quirk of the week has to be a toss up between singing Motown whilst doing the washing up and reading poetry to Baby Eve. Tom has become pretty adorable too with his childish plea to Yvonne that she should dump Adam because he’s been smoking, and his obsession with building a swimming pool in the back garden. With regards to Annie it’s becoming increasingly clear that she’ll do whatever it takes to protect her friends and Baby Eve so there’s a good chance we’ll see less tea making and more badass moves before the end of series 4, and I’m all for that. My only real beef with the episode was the whole explanation of Hal not being affected by crosses as an ‘Old One’, and how Cutler protected himself from it by using the journalist as a human shield to get out of the hotel room. It appeared a little too convenient and is probably on a par with Annie’s newfound ‘swaddling’ skills as a rather lazy plot device. All in all though a much more solid instalment, and I’m looking forward to the business end of the series.

The next Doctor?

Next week…


About Optimistindisguise

I blog therefore I am. I think.
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